


i can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now

by thegreenfairy246



Series: it's all coming back to me now [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29551149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246
Summary: thor is learning that vengeance doesn't always make you feel better.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Thor, Thor (Marvel)/Reader
Series: it's all coming back to me now [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152719
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	i can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now

**Author's Note:**

> this is a short little thing that i wrote only because i wanted to write the last few paragraphs. it's the end of this series, and i hope y'all like it!

Thor isn’t allowed at the funeral–Bucky had made sure of that, but Barnes can’t control everything.

It’s late when Thor sets out in search of the funeral home. The air has turned bitter–winter come overnight. He pulls his cloak tighter around him, ignores the tinge of cold. When he finds the back door, he can see your casket laying there through the small window. He looks for a rock, finds a hefty one and tosses it through the glass, reaches his hand through and unlocks the door. 

Inside, the room feels suffocating–like the walls are closing in on him. He’s not sure if it’s simply the small size or his newfound proximity to your body. Finally, with feet made of lead, he makes his way to the side of the casket, looks at you up close once more. 

You look the same, like you’ve just fallen asleep. It makes Thor’s heart seize. He touches your cheek, hardly notices the cold of your skin. 

“Oh, love. Why have you left me this way?” He rubs his hand over your face. “Hm? Why have you left me here in this darkness?” Thor shakes his head, feels tears well along his lashes. “You cannot leave me here where I can’t find you. I cannot bear it. If you’ve ever cared for me, please, be with me always. Never leave my side–drive me mad if you must.” Thor lifts his other hand, swipes at his eyes. “You are my very heart. I cannot live without you, it is unutterable.”

Thor doesn’t leave, stays at your side for hours. It’s not until he hears the sounds of life begin outside that he hurries out the door he came in.

He gets home in a blur, goes to his room and doesn’t leave for days. He’s a bit shocked, honestly, when Natasha throws open the door to his bedroom. 

She rushes to the curtains, yanks them open. "You haven’t moved for days! Have you even considered my feelings?”

It takes Thor a few moments to register her presence. Lost in visions of the past, he’s not ready to come back to the present–to a world you aren’t in. “I have not.”

Natasha scoffs. “You have no shame then? That you’ve forgotten our relationship completely? You have been distracted by a woman who abandoned you!”

Thor surges up. “You will not speak of her that way. Not you who has only been in my life to serve one purpose, a purpose you are no longer needed for.”

“Hm? What is that then?”

Thor sneers. “To make her jealous. I have not cared for you for one moment of the time we’ve spent together.”  


Thor can see the pain cross her face as the statement hits her. She shakes her head. “I can't be with you any longer. I have to leave."

Thor looks up, shrugs. “Good. Go. I don’t understand why you’re still here anyway.”

She huffs, turns and leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Thor glances around the empty room. “She’s gone now, my love. You may come to me. This house is yours.”

Later, alone as ever, Thor crawls into bed again. The wind outside is rattling the window grates, howling in a way that almost sounds like your voice. He rises again, opens the window, speaks to the trees. “You may come in, love. Please. Whenever you wish, I will welcome you home.”

He’s woken early the next morning by knocking at the door.

“Thor!” It takes Thor no time at all to place the voice–Wilson, from Stark’s party.

“I know you’re in there,” Sam’s voice rings out. “I’ve come as a friend. I want to let you know that Bucky has died–grief stricken, the doctors say. I thought you would want to know.”

He pauses a few moments, seems to wait for a response. 

“Thor? Fine. I’m going. Should you need anything, people do have concern for you. You need to believe that.”

Then, there’s silence. blissful silence, and Thor goes back to living in his memories. 

\----

One night, no different than any other to a passerby, Thor goes to bed and never wakes up. 

No one knows what killed him, not many people would have cared to find out. His broken heart was always suspected. Who knows, maybe he really was haunted. Perhaps you tired of waiting, dragged him off. Who could blame you, truthfully? No one wishes to spend the afterlife alone.

If you go to their quiet little village, you'll see those old houses. The people pass by and tell this story, of the love that went so wrong–the carnage it left in it’s wake. Some even claim to see them in the windows, haunting the grounds. It would be fitting, the two of you there, finally together.

If you ever wish to satisfy your curiosity, you can find them in the nearby cemetery. Three stones, all in a row. Thor Odinson carved into fresh stone, the newest of the bunch. Bucky's inscription is very nearly hidden by the ivy–hasn’t been there long enough to be hidden yet. You're there, in the middle, headstone almost covered completely. 

One would hope they’re feeling peace. After such painful lives–who would imagine the afterlife was anything but gentle to them?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you liked it, you can follow me on tumblr @blueberrythor


End file.
